Fashion-forward Cousin Gifts

The Fad Herald cometh! All hail the arbiter of all things hip. Hear ye. today, a matter of great magnitude. After much deliberation, I am prepared to issue a rare fad correction, and an apology. Two years ago, in a drunken haze, I mistakenly mixed up a 2020 scroll with one meant for 2022. Murmur murmur. Something has felt off. C'mon! The one I mistakenly read in 2020 that should have been read this year … Ripped skinny jeans that cling to the legs like torn Saran Wrap while accentuating the butt

Bitchbark Canoe

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Rap music

"I don't like your application."

"We have the exact same taste."

"Better luck next time, kid."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'More hair than brains.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Salvador Dali's cats.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

Rainbow skier

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

'Look! There's Santa!'

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

'Is that a wig?'