Young Cousin Gifts

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Look! There's Santa!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

"Those are my unfinished connect-the-dots which I plan on finishing when I learn how to count past 10."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

I'm going to sports camp this summer. Same. Tap tap tap. My parents think it'll help me make varsity. That'll get me into college. Same. Tap tap tap tap tap. Got him! Nice move. Too bad we can't letter in video games.

"I know you're just a recording, but I was lonely!"

"Wow! Gracie is playing with lipstick! She hates girly stuff! Maybe she finally discovered her dainty side!"

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"I know it's the first week of class, but I want to ask...how many of you are going to college?"

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'More hair than brains.'

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

"Better luck next time, kid."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Glastonbury. After.

Larry's used art

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'