Older Cousin Gifts

Older cousin press

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Glastonbury. After.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Larry's used art

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

I will study my speling words...

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."