Teen Cousin Gifts

'I heard that as soon as we become aware of our sexual impulses, whatever they are, we'll have to hide them.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Pubescents in Space.

Surroundsound

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

Born to Hug

Up for a joyride, rebellious barnyard teens figure out how to hotwire the truck....

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"So what's this I hear about you crushing on Estella?"

"I'm going to be honest with you, Noah. I've been virtually seeing someone else."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Glastonbury. After.

Larry's used art

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'