Teen Relative Gifts

"I wish school was more like TV."

Dice Headphones

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Likes: $2.

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"How was prom?"

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Teen's Comet

The end of innocence

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

Mammoth Tipping was the most Fatal of Primitive Teen Activities.

Chippunks

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

Mobile Phones

"My dad's been on my case...he says I should be preparing for my future career. But what kind of training can I get here for a job that's tough, will make tons of money and highlight my incredible bod?"

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"