Curious Cousin Gifts

'I've traced our family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

Bitchbark Canoe

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Better luck next time, kid."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'More hair than brains.'

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Salvador Dali's cats.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

'Look! There's Santa!'

"The dog wants out again!"

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

The Inventor of the Man Bun.