Playful Sister Gifts

Convent Schools

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

Advanced footsie

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'I think there's been some mistake...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

Modern Parents

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD