Quirky Grandparent Gifts

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

A large leaf falling on a dog

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Where's your nose?"

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Monster mobiles.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

"I'll explain later."

Boho Bribes

Young MacDonald

"Have you seen his sippy skull?"

'Yeah, my Mum is a clean-freak too: I have to wash my food before I eat it...'

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

'Hello? Animal control?'