Playful Rival Gifts

"Why do you always have to make everything a competition?"

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

You throw poop like a girl.

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'And the Graduate finishes last again!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Tension filled the tent.

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'The grudge match.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

An Archeologic Dig

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

I won! I finished my pizza first! Want to make it two out of three?

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Skateboard Olympics.

Basketball Players Working Together

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."