Playful Aunt Or Uncle Gifts

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Save us!'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Best Places to Retire

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

Dog traps the postman.

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Groovy Baby

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

You need a new reading light

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.