Elderly Aunt Or Uncle Gifts

Old People of the Future.

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Children's Parties

"They grow up so fast."

Interior design trends for parents....

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Too much sugar."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

The No No No's

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'She's just great with the children.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"When did she start crawling?"