Plastic Surgery Recovery Gifts

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

'Sure I've had some work done, but hey, who hasn't?'

I regret the face-lift.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

En garde!

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."