Post-surgery Recovery Gifts

Leg in a sling 'Are you sure this is the correct treatment for a broken leg?'

"You're operation went smoothly, but we're very concerned about some post-surgical insurance complications."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

"Medicare wants its hip back."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

Mr. Harris thought his face-lift was a tad too severe.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Would you like a post-surgery to-go box?"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'How do you think the operation went, Mrs Waterson?'

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

"Actually, I wasn't paying any attention to what you just said, but I LOOK interested and engaged, don't I? Cosmetic Eyebrow Surgery!! It's totally changed my LIFE!!"

"The knee replacement went well. I've already graduated from the candy walker."

'I think I had an out-of-network experience while I was under.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"It's one of the side effects of a high protein diet."

'I travelled here for cosmetic surgery, that's why I now don't resemble the photo.'

Woman with new boob job - 'For goodness sake Charles...I had them done for you!'

'The breasts are original, but I've had my nipples done.'

'The ops a god send when it comes to waiting for the bus.'

"Your new nose needs a mustache."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."