Recovery From Surgery Gifts

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Man sees dollar sign on belly: 'Nice stitches, Doc.'

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

'Our master is getting his eyes fixed.'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"I'm your hip replacement."

I heart bypass t-shirt.

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"If it has the word 'ectomy' after it I've had it!"

Wishing you a Speedy recovery from Eye Surgery.

Man in hospital bed has EKG with up and down sales charts next to it

It's from your private medical insurance.

"I like to being post-operative chats with the good news... you no longer have to worry about taking care of yourself."

Sometimes I regret the laser eye surgery.

'The good news is the operation was a success. . . the bad news is your butt looks too big in that hospital gown.'

Outpatient recovery lot.

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

"You don't think his stitches are TOO tight,do you?"

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'I'll have you out of bed and up on your foot in no time.'

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Man in hospital watching television in his cast.

Graph-boobs.

"The size of your kidney stones are stupendous - they're kidney boulders!"

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'The facelift went well, but you might want to wait before you take any selfies.'

Pitcher Vern 'Spike' Grove, after his arm and leg surgery has cosmetic surgery to appear more chiseled and athletic-looking.

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Suggestion: Don't bungee jump after having hip replacement surgery.

"The operation was a success, it was the hospital food that got him."