Recovery From Surgery Gifts

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Man sees dollar sign on belly: 'Nice stitches, Doc.'

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"If it has the word 'ectomy' after it I've had it!"

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

I heart bypass t-shirt.

"I'm your hip replacement."

Outpatient recovery lot.

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

"You don't think his stitches are TOO tight,do you?"

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'I'll have you out of bed and up on your foot in no time.'

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Man in hospital watching television in his cast.

Wishing you a Speedy recovery from Eye Surgery.

Graph-boobs.

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

'The good news is the operation was a success. . . the bad news is your butt looks too big in that hospital gown.'

"I like to being post-operative chats with the good news... you no longer have to worry about taking care of yourself."

It's from your private medical insurance.

Man in hospital bed has EKG with up and down sales charts next to it

Women admiring a necklace: 'Actually - they're my husband's gall stones!'

"The operation was a success, it was the hospital food that got him."

'No, I haven't ever experienced chest pains during surgery.'

Suggestion: Don't bungee jump after having hip replacement surgery.

'Your transplant went OK, but you'll have to get your ears pruned occasionally.'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"The size of your kidney stones are stupendous - they're kidney boulders!"

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Pitcher Vern 'Spike' Grove, after his arm and leg surgery has cosmetic surgery to appear more chiseled and athletic-looking.

'The facelift went well, but you might want to wait before you take any selfies.'