Recovery After Surgery Gifts

Elderly gent keeps his hip in a bottle

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"First day out of bed?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

En garde!

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."