Recovering From A Procedure Gifts

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

En garde!

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"