Plastic Surgery Humorist Gifts

'Looks like Helen had some work done.'

Next! (liposuction specialist)

'Big tits count as two of the three wishes.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

"Did you get some work done?"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'It's a routine operation.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"Pull my finger."

Surgeon using hover mower