Plastic Surgery Satirist Gifts

Chicken Breast Implants

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"It was a botched surgery."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

Plastic surgery is a scream.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Did you get some work done?"