Plastic Surgery Satirist Gifts

Chicken Breast Implants

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Hospital Cleaning.

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"