Cosmetic Surgery Satirist Gifts

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"It was a botched surgery."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"Did you get some work done?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."