Skin Care Satirist Gifts

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Bald Man Overcomb

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

The return of Miss Subways

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

Centurion in a Shower

'Honest, I'm not a toad - I'm a frog with a skin condition.'

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

Saloon Selectives

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

Non-Smoking and Non-Urinating End at Swimming Pool

Lady Macbeth in the morning

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.

Life before fitness trackers.

Werewolf prone? Try our MoonBlock.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'