Beauty Satirist Gifts

'Don't worry about those craters. Photoshop can take care of them."

"You see, it's actually your own hair recovered, through painstaking research, from past visits to the barber, and then pasted back on your head."

'This is the best I could come up with.'

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

'Have you any W fronts?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

The return of Miss Subways

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

The caricature of Dorian Gray

"This time lick my entire body."

Home for the Holidays

Stay at home

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

George Clooney.

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

"Oh God, beards are so passe."

School of Comparative Anatomy

The Three Stylish Klansmen

"Wingtips - this is a white collar gang."

The latest fall fashion trends

Holy cow. Holycow. Holycow. What? You won't believe the American hero coming to the cafe. Lady Gaga? Kanye? Elon Musk? A venture capitalist. Do I look greedy enough in this shirt? I weep.

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

"I own 60% of your image rights. Which means you have to pay me ten quid every time you look in the mirror."

Ugly sisters

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

Theatrical agent, "Quite honestly Frank I think you've turned into a poor caricature of yourself"