Beauty Regime Satirist Gifts

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

Bald Man Overcomb

The return of Miss Subways

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

"Wait, sir. It's a new banking regulation -- You can't leave without depositing something."

Lady Macbeth in the morning

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

'It's another notice from the government - they say we need to add airbags.'

I know, but it's code.

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

The First Wax Strip of Spring!

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

'And I'm'm not coming out of there 'til I'm amber!'

'Have you noticed how the building inspector always arrives around lunch time?'

'Don't worry about those craters. Photoshop can take care of them."

Of course she's thin - she eats like a pterodactyl.

"In hindsight yeah, I wish I would have never gone under the knife."

'Hey! I've lost two stone!'

'If you caught that in a wheat field, how do we know it's gluten-free?'

"Knuckle ball. Fork ball. Fast ball. Hair ball."

Man with each foot on a set of scales.

"It's a new diet book. You can't eat until you finish reading a chapter."

The Man in the Charcoal Mask

"I don't care if they are fake. I like 'em."

Bald eagle is wearing a toupee.