Skin Care Humorist Gifts

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

Centurion in a Shower

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

'Honest, I'm not a toad - I'm a frog with a skin condition.'

"I just got the Google Earth app. I didn't know you had a bald spot."

'Happy birthday Frank!...'

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Saloon Selectives

'BOTOX...QUICK!

Elephant nose jobs

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'By accident they washed me with a conditioner!'

Shampoo for Medusa's scaley and slimey hair.

Lady Macbeth in the morning

" ... because this job is dangerous enough without having to worry about dry, flaky skin."

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

Cosmetics not tesed on animals

"You're very lucky. An inch lower and this would have been closer to your elbow."

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

'I owe my creation to Dr. Frankenstein. But my botox, nose job and scar removal are the work of my plastic surgeon, Dr. Guida.'

"I'll bet you guys have great technology, I bet you could do great boob jobs!"

'Just think, I used to pay a spa $30 a month to hang me upside down in gravity inversion boots.'