Cosmetics Humorist Gifts

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Not you. Your hair.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

The Dandy

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Flight Socks.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

''Just face it - you're going bald.'

Where Pleather Comes From

Bobo's Barber Shop

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

Toupee in a tin.

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."