Cosmetic Comedian Gifts

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

"1-1"

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Unsuitable clothing.

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'BOTOX...QUICK!

Elephant nose jobs

'You got haberdashed!'

'Silicone implant ward.'

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

'She's definitely had work done.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Botox secretary.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

Arthur maintains a sense of equanimity not matter what the world situation. Mind you, the Botox helps.

Cosmetics not tesed on animals

"I'll bet you guys have great technology, I bet you could do great boob jobs!"

'Why do you carry your electronics in a fancy case, but your clothes in a paper bag?'

'I owe my creation to Dr. Frankenstein. But my botox, nose job and scar removal are the work of my plastic surgeon, Dr. Guida.'

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

'So I still haven't met anyone else who has a blow dryer that requires two people.'

Cut & blow dry.

'My long suit is at the cleaners.'

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will reveal the secret of my success."

'Well.. Your nails are very rusty...'

'Spread it on, lick it off.'

'It's a pimple alright. And it looks like it's ready to pop.'

'To be honest I hope you will be able to prove my suspicions wrong.'