Cosmetic Comedian T-Shirts

"1-1"

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

Unsuitable clothing.

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'You got haberdashed!'

'BOTOX...QUICK!

'Silicone implant ward.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'She's definitely had work done.'

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

"I envy you. How do you stay so slimy?"

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

'I owe my creation to Dr. Frankenstein. But my botox, nose job and scar removal are the work of my plastic surgeon, Dr. Guida.'

Arthur maintains a sense of equanimity not matter what the world situation. Mind you, the Botox helps.

"I'll bet you guys have great technology, I bet you could do great boob jobs!"

'Why do you carry your electronics in a fancy case, but your clothes in a paper bag?'

Cosmetics not tesed on animals

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

'So I still haven't met anyone else who has a blow dryer that requires two people.'

Cut & blow dry.

'My long suit is at the cleaners.'

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will reveal the secret of my success."

'Well.. Your nails are very rusty...'

'Spread it on, lick it off.'

'It's a pimple alright. And it looks like it's ready to pop.'

'To be honest I hope you will be able to prove my suspicions wrong.'

Kelly is saving up for the other one.