Post-surgery Humorists Gifts

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

"It was a botched surgery."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

NHS Efficiency Drive

'Say, please.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"He's very good. He disected my first husband."

"Did you get some work done?"

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.