Pirate-themed Humorist Gifts

'Yes, he does tend to overcharge a bit.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Japanese Whaling

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Pirates at the mall.

'It was this big. I swear'

Guide fish.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Man painting MOM on boat

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

'We're drifting apart.'

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I got one this small.'