Pirate Comedian Gifts

'He's murder on the high C's.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Pirates at the mall.

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

'I got one this small.'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

So, how are you planning on eating that?

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Well, we've been under a lot of pressure lately.'

"Another impulse purchase?"

Pirated mirrors.

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

No petting in the pool!

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

Many clowns in rowboat

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Fingerlings.

'I'm still a bit hungry: I don't think I've had more than four tons of krill this morning...'

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'