Pirate Humorist Gifts

Pirates at the mall.

"I don't get it. How is walking the plank punishment for the guy who's not the plank?"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Japanese Whaling

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Guide fish.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'It was this big. I swear'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Shark food pyramid.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Shark Chum

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'