Pirate Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Pirates at the mall.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

"Isn't it obvious how he got the job? He 'suctioned' up."

Pirate Captain Wears Pirate Slogan T-Shirt

Pirated mirrors.

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

'I hate these school reunions.'

"Dang. . . everyehere you meet cargo ships jammed in front of the North Sea Ports!"

"Aye, folks often get us mixed up, but I'm actually Capt'n Bluetooth."

Animal Translations.

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

Fish Eye Tests.

'I checked with accounting and there's no missin' treasure, so I'm not sure what ye mean when ye say the scoundrel touched yar booty.'

'He's murder on the high C's.'

'Oh sure...I'm on a diet and you want to go on a feeding frenzy!'

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

"Pardon me, but we ran out of gas. Can you tow us into shore?"

"Things hadn't been the same for Binky since the goldfish hired a piranha bodyguard."

'Yes, he does tend to overcharge a bit.'

"You are using an unregistered copy of this software...please register..."

Sworn Anenome

'Those shell suits are just sooo 1980's!' - hermit crab in crab meat tin criticises one in a shell

Walrus Inc

I see what your problem is...you've got a flat eel!

Talk like a pirate day. . .

Backwards Buccaneers