Pigeon Friend Gifts

'Actually, I took up smoking just so I could get another work break.'

'It won't do you any good, I just don't have any more peanuts.'

Bitchbark Canoe

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

A large leaf falling on a dog

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'Super Dog'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'They're dog roses!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Your love gives me strength."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

PET THEORIES

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Pet Entertainers

'I wish I was creative'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Dog Birthdays

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.