Philosopher In Pool Gifts

Change Rooms.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Lemniskate

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

Mozart on a lilo

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Fish Food

"Are you new around here?"

'Ladies... gentlemen... I imagine you're all wondering why you've been invited to this think tank.'

Artist Misses the Point

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"