Pool Table Philosopher Gifts

I think I just figured out why this place was available.

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Beginning Yarder.

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"Cat got your tongue?"

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!