Pool Table Philosopher Gifts

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

Beginning Yarder.

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Mozart on a lilo

"Cat got your tongue?"

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'