Poolside Philosopher Gifts

'Is it labor day already?'

"What good is art if you can't have fun with it?"

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Thank you for not drowning.

Jumping in the deep end.

'Please calm down, Mam. I'm aware of the situation, and I'm doing everything I possibly can.'

No man is an island ??" it just looks that way.

Leisure time for chromosomes.

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

'How's the water, dear?'

'Don't dive - It's not deep enough.'

Ace Pool Cleaners.

Swimmers Ready to Dive.

Lifeguard - Please Take A Number.

'You should put some more lotion on sweetie... you're starting to peel!'

'Just take your time, Sweetheart. Remember, it's not a race.'

Deeply absorbed in thought Melvin wanders into the wrong pool.

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

'Now, at the signal from our new head coach...'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Some of your spray tan came off in the pool.

An eagle catches springboard diver.

'Why is Burl wearing a life vest, Joy?'

'Apparently, Phillips, you want a lawsuit on your hands!'

Woman swimming with float made of old bottles.

'Sorry. Health 'n' Safety rule. No water in the pool in case someone drowns.'

Diving Fish

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

'Oh no, it's the mosquitoes! Kids, splash around in the pool, they only like stagnant water.'

"What's the temperature of the water?"

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"Dude, I can't wait till we're older, so women pay attention to us!"

"It's not a giant water bowl? All this time I thought they were a little obsessed with us being hydrated."