Underwater Philosopher Gifts

Deepwater Fish

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Don't worry about winning or losing. Just ejoy being in the food chain."

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

"You're overthinking this."

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

Artist Misses the Point