Underwater Philosopher Gifts

Deepwater Fish

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Don't worry about winning or losing. Just ejoy being in the food chain."

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Mozart on a lilo

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Fish near-death experiences.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

Fish Food

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

Artist Misses the Point

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."