Soaking Philosopher Gifts

He lay submerged, breathing through a straw - just to see how long it would take for anyone to notice.

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

An idea box in a shower

'How's the water, dear?'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Mozart on a lilo

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Fish near-death experiences.

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

Artist Misses the Point

"You're overthinking this."

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"Do you have any why-to books?"