Bathtime Philosopher Gifts

"There's a dog in Wisconsin that tells jokes."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

Baby Hairstyles.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Well did he?"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Think about the honey."

An idea box in a shower

Water power.

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Rutger Shower

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"OMG!"

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'I say, it would be ever so nice if you could hand me my rubber ducky'.

Vanity artist

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"What? You asked me to draw you a bath."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'