Bathroom Philosophers Gifts

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Man's reflection laughing at him.

I'm sorry we taught that cat to use the toilet.

Calm. Tranquility. - 'Sanctuary.' - 'I need a wee!!! What are you doing in there?!' - 'I was finding inner peace until your weak bladder interrupted me...' -

Vanity artist

'Isn't it weird how you always think you can hear a can opening when you're in the shower?'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

An idea box in a shower

Water power.

Rutger Shower

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"OMG!"

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

Round the Clock