Bathroom Break Philosopher Gifts

Alien Toilet Break

"Your waiting time will probably be 18 minutes!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

An idea box in a shower

Water power.

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Rutger Shower

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"OMG!"

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Vanity artist

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'