Bathroom Break Philosopher Gifts

Alien Toilet Break

"Your waiting time will probably be 18 minutes!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

An idea box in a shower

Water power.

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

"OMG!"

Vanity artist

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.