Break Room Philosopher Gifts

"My career doesn't reflect what my passions are as much as where my health insurance is."

"I can never find any change here."

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Johnson, what are you doing? It's not time for your break yet."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me!'

'I've worked out your pro rated holiday leave on the basis that you only put in a couple of hours real work a day.'

Drinks: Tea, Coffee, Choco, Scalded Leg, Wet Shoe, Half a Cup, No Cup.

"Joey, are you on break again?"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Well did he?"

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"So that's where you were last night."

"Think about the honey."

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

Writer's irony.

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'