Coffee Break Philosopher Gifts

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"Anyone here not a feminist?"

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Call me a crazy optimist, but I can imagine a world where the grass is greener on my side."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"