Coffee Break Philosophers Gifts

"I can't continue working these hours...I feel as though I'm missing Michael's childhood...." "His name's Mark!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."