Coffee Philosopher Gifts

"Why do I have to be talented at something? Why can't I just be talented?"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

"Take my coffee—it's worth five dollars."

"I'm so ready to quit - the pay sucks, and every night I go home reeking of hazelnut."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"There's no point in lifting the minimum wage… they'll only squander it paying taxes."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

Broken Alarm Clock.

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Waiting for retirement.

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

Teapot