Caffeine Philosopher Gifts

New Belief Systems

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Still Coffee Runs Deep

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

Jay McInerney

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."