Caffeine Philosopher Gifts

New Belief Systems

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"You don't whisper anymore."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

Jay McInerney

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."