Caffeinated Philosopher Gifts

Exciting news. I've retired our small size coffee. I've replaced it with the big. What if people want jut a little bit to drink? They should order the big. Isn't it bigger? It's the same size as the old small. Just like the old medium. It's the same as before, but it now called the grandeur. And in place of the old large, I give you the skyscraper. Modern cafe theory: Same size drinks but larger names. Our prices must rise to reflect our generosity.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"You don't whisper anymore."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

And I intend to fill it. For nature abhors a vacuum.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

Jay McInerney

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

New Belief Systems

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

Scariest Tactics

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.