Café Philosophers Gifts

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

Jay McInerney

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

New Belief Systems

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."