Coffee Shop Philosophers Gifts

"We're divorced, but we are still friends - friends with lawyers."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

'Consummatum est.'

Jay McInerney

Hipster Coffee

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

New Belief Systems

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Sir, your sitting here and drinking coffee while simply musing is making our guests uncomfortable."