Coffee House Philosopher Gifts

Jay McInerney

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"You don't whisper anymore."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

Still Coffee Runs Deep

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

Continental Drift.

"Turns out it's easier to live at work than work from home."

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

'Consummatum est.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

New Belief Systems

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

The Decafé