Breaktime Philosopher Gifts

'Rumor has it, Beegley, that you don't smoke - you just like to get outside to goof off...'

"I still have five minutes of hate before I clock in."

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

Smoking

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Well did he?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Think about the honey."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"It's not you-it's me."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Stress

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

The Procrastinatorium.

"I feel I need to take a break from academia."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"